


Maybe It’s Maybelline

by Anonymous



Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: Dubious Ethics, Gen, Medical Experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-26
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-27 23:06:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30130242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Maybe she's born with it, or maybe it's Compound V. What kind of parent lets someone inject their kid with an experimental superpower serum?
Comments: 10
Kudos: 9
Collections: Worldbuilding Exchange 2021





	Maybe It’s Maybelline

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kameiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kameiko/gifts).



The Januarys signed the NDA on the dangled promise of a miracle cure for their baby girl wheezing away in her little NICU bed. It was pretty much standard procedure for these sort to recruitments. Vought liked to make sure they could utterly destroy anyone who so much as breathed a word of Compound V before they ever mentioned it. I pulled the next round of documents out of my briefcase. They were a bit more complicated.

“This document,” I said, sliding it across to them, “grants Vought permission to inject your daughter with the experimental substance known Compound V. It should help stabilize Annie’s breathing and strengthen her lungs. Some of the potential side effects include heart arrhythmia, new or worsening deformations, and superpowers.”

They both looked up sharply from the document they’d been reading. “I’m sorry,” Mr. January said. “Did you just say superpowers?”

“Yes.” I passed over the next document. It was always best to get it out of the way while the parents were still distracted by the whole superpowers thing. “This is an agreement whereby Vought agrees to become your daughter’s health care provider and to cover any and all medical expenses associated with her in exchange for you agreeing to waive your right sue for any damages to you, your child, or your property.”

There were a few more clauses in the fine print. Vought would have the right to conduct tests, take samples, etc. without any further notification of their intent or of the results. They could inject her with more Compound V or anything else they felt like to furthered their experiments. Standard mad scientist stuff. The family could read all about it if they squinted hard enough.

Not that they bothered. The parents were usually so excited they hardly ever did. Mrs. January was already reaching for the pen. “Will we get to chose her superpower?” she asked, sounding way more enthusiastic about the prospect of a super-powered daughter than she did about a merely healthy one. She signed in big, loopy letters.

I shook my head. “It doesn’t work like that. Remember, powers are just a potential side effect. Super strength is the most common reaction, but your daughter could end up with any number of powers.”

Even after nearly 50 years of tinkering, Compound V’s effects were still pretty much a crap shoot. Everyone wanted their kid to be the next Homelander, but little Annie could just as easily end up with gills or burning the house down before her first birthday, assuming the V didn’t just kill her outright. Results were more consistently favorable with infants rather than adults, but positive outcomes weren’t always a given. I certainly wouldn’t inject my kid with that shit, but no parent would if we told them the truth. 

Mrs. January finished signing and slid the papers over to her husband, but he just sat there with his arms crossed. “Why us?” he demanded. “There have to be hundreds of babies like Annie out there, but you’re not offering this to them, or else we’d be swimming in super heroes. So what makes us so special?”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Really? That’s what he was getting hung up on? Then again, maybe he din’t like getting played for a sucker.

“You’re the right kind of people.” 

Namely, white. True, in recent years, Vought had been diversifying its portfolio as a sop to the minorities, but test subjects were predominantly white and always Christian. It would be kind of hard to claim our superheroes were Christ’s chosen with a Hindu or a Hebrew in the mix. The Januarys were regular church goers and, more importantly, they’d recently attended a Capes for Christ event in Des Moines. Those things were a literal god-sent when it came to prescreening prospective parents. People were much more cooperative when they’d already drunk the Kool-Aid, at least usually they were.

“We would love to be able to share Compound V with every child who needs it, but, until our scientists can eliminate the side effects, we just can’t risk it,” I lied smoothly. “We can’t risk giving super powers to someone who might grow up to be some kind of super criminal. You’re a veteran. You and your wife are pillars of your community. If your daughter does develop powers, we know we can count on you to raise her right.”

That did it. Mrs. January looked proud enough to sign all over again. Her husband’s shoulder’s snapped back like he’d been called to attention and it was obvious I’d gotten him even before he even reached for the pen. A little flattery went a long way and who knew? It might even pay off down the line. They might actually raise a hero instead of an entitled shit looking to coast on their powers. I wasn’t going to hold my breath, but we were in the business of making miracles. 

He paused halfway through signing away his daughter’s right to medical privacy. “The NDA. What do we tell her when she asks about her powers?”

Who cared? Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline. “As long as you don’t mention Vought or Compound V, that’s up to you.”

Mrs. January squeezed his arm. “We’ll tell her the truth: it’s a miracle from god.” 

“Exactly,” I said, shooting her a finger gun.

She got it, or maybe she actually believed it. It was hard to tell with some people. The Lord worked in mysterious ways, so why not through a mega corporation? People could convince themselves of anything if they believed hard enough. 

I gathered up the papers and rose. “Now that we’re all set, I’ll tell the doctor to get started administering the Compound V.”

“Thank you for giving our family this chance,” Mr. January said, springing up to offer his hand.

“Our pleasure,” I replied, shaking it.

“How soon do you think until we can enter Annie in the pageants?” Mrs. January asked as I shook hers next.

Oh, she was going to be one of _those_ parents, wasn’t she? Her eyes shown. Was she seeing dollar signs from all the prize money and endorsements or the reflected glory of bearing one of God’s chosen superheroes?

“Remember, the Compound V is supposed to help strengthen Annie’s lungs. _If_ she develops powers, it could manifest any time between now and puberty, but that’s a pretty big if.”

Her smile dimmed and I plastered on my brightest. 

“Between you and me though,” I said in a conspiratorial whisper, “I hope to see her at one real soon.”

Vought always did like to keep an eye on their investments.


End file.
